Wednesday, February 24, 2010

This may shock you.

I don't normally get political.
The way I see it, your beliefs are your own. You have every right to share your ideas and opinions but don't try and convince me that your way is the only way. I will be respectful and honor the right that you have to your opinions. I remember the election between George W. Bush and John Kerry. I was at school in California at the time and I had everyone come up to me and ask who I voted for. I said as politely as I could "That is none of your business." Many immediately railed at me, that I had voted for Bush and how could I do such a thing. I was again polite "If I did vote for Bush or Kerry, it is my right. I voted today for the man that I felt would be the lesser of two evils. I don't care for either of them but I have only two choices and I made a choice that I can live with. I'm glad you did too." I then walked away.
Again this past election between Obama and McCain I made the choice I felt was the lesser of two evils. I feel that every politician is not serving the American People. They are out for themselves and are only interested in what they can do for them.
What I disagree with the most is the way that everyone rallied behind Bush after he won his second term and many people were upset. The media came out and said "Oh come on now. He's the President. Let's be supportive and just accept this." And America did.
But now. All I hear on the news is how Obama is destroying America and down with him and his ideas and policy's!
Could you listen to yourself? Let's grow up Fox News. Why don't you show an objective view point? If all you listen to is Glenn Beck and Bill O'Rielly of course your going to be scared! We're all going to die because Obama wants everyone to have Health Care and if you don't want Health Care too bad, cause he wants to kill you!
I was a Ron Paul supporter. I still am. I love that SOMEONE in politics today actually remembers what this country was based on. And I love that he wants us to go back to that. I may not agree with everything but someone who is objective and does not adhere to Conservative or Liberal is my kind of person!
Fox News mocked that he won a Straw Pull. Meanwhile you know that if McCain, or Palin had won the Straw Pull Fox News would have said "There is the Presidential Candidate for the next election!"
This is why I watch the Daily Show with Jon Stewart! He's doing his research on both sides of every issue and finding the humor in it instead of fear and propaganda. He mocks and encourages both sides as well! Yes he has his opinions but he does try to show the issue and what the parties are doing in regards to every issue.
Which is nothing. They are too busy fighting each other to actually do anything for the voters that put them in the positions they are in today.
I guess it's the fact I'm about to be a mother. I'm about to have a child and I have no job, no education, and am in debt up to my eyeballs because I was stupid in my divorce.
I've been working very hard since I was 16 years old. I have paid my taxes and I vote.
My government is not doing anything to help me. My government does not work for me. Because I am not a middle aged white man who was born into money. I am a "single" white woman about to have a child. Conservatives would have my head because I am not married as they believe that I should be. Liberals would have my head because I plan on getting married! (These are absolute extremes in case you needed clarification)
Where is the government that is suppose to help those that need some help? I could use a fresh start! I could use having the slate wiped clean for me. I'm 26 years old and if I'm lucky by the time I'm 40 I'll have paid off my debt. I was fired because I was pregnant. But I cannot prove that because the state that I live in is a Right To Work State. Which means if my employer does not like my hair color I can be fired.
I'm not even sure where I've ended up in this rant. I guess it's just a woman about to become a mother wondering what kind of world I am bringing this child into. And how I can protect him from so many liars and horrible people who will try and convince him to think a certain way out of fear.
And the saddest thing is that we all still listen. We will encourage people to continue spouting their Opinions without caring if what they say has any truth in it.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Another week.

Well, had another doctor's appointment today! And I am scheduled for one next week, we'll see if I make it. Probably. But we'll see.
Aidan is still moving around a lot, he is still very active and has a good strong heartbeat. It was awesome! I love hearing his heartbeat. It thrills me. I also have gained another 2 pounds. God I feel massive! I know it's for baby, but being this heavy, so quickly is causing me a lot of pain. My legs, ankles and knees are killing me! I can't get comfortable standing at all. Any amount of time on my feet hurts so bad! I was cutting some fabric today and I was exhausted after. I had to lay down! So hard. I miss being active and really doing stuff! I know I'm doing stuff like making a baby and all, but you know what I mean.
James has just be so wonderful during this whole thing. He has calmed me down when I'm frantic, he has been my biggest source of comfort and I am so blessed to have him as my love, my partner and my friend. I know that we don't have a piece of paper, but I know he's my husband. I have no doubt that he and I will always be together.
I am just getting so anxious! I mean, I'm going to see my baby any day and knowing that I'm just so nervous and excited! I want him to come when he's ready, but then I want to see him now! You know? But patience. He'll come out when he's ready. I just really don't want to be induced. I hope he comes in plenty of time.
So that is where we are now. I am waiting for Aidan to come out and James is waiting for me to say "It's time."

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Good times!

So! On Saturday my mother in law and I (yes I know that legally she isn't but whatever!) went to my mom's house, where my mom, my sister and two of my sister in laws had decorated and cooked and put together a party for Aidan.It was awesome! So many family and friends came and brought diapers and other things that we're going to need and I just had so much fun! I also had a couple of friends show up that I have not seen in a few YEARS! Which was also awesome! Everything was so fun and I just had such a good time!
My Aunt Debbie brought a little rocking horse with Aidan's name on it and I almost teared up. I grew up spending a lot of time at my Uncle Carl and Aunt Faie's house because my cousin Becky was close to my age and we both loved horses. When my sister was born, my Uncle built a rocking horse and my Aunt painted it. And they started doing this for a lot of the family members. And these are beautiful rocking horses.
Well, my Uncle passed away several years ago, so these rocking horses cannot be made anymore. So, just getting one made me really happy!
I'm getting to the point that Aidan could come at any time. He's in the right position, and I'm feeling like it could happen at any time. I can't wait!

Monday, February 1, 2010


I am going to have a baby.

No, this fact did not just spring upon me, I've known that I'm going to have a baby for almost 9 months now, but seriously! I'm actually going to have a baby! It could just be me, but being pregnant and going through all of that does not really make one prepare for the time when it's weeks away.

Because suddenly you're faced with everything you need to get done! Only you can't do it all yourself because you can barely move!

Then you have wonderful friends and family who are so supportive and willing to help in any way possible.

Several of my theater friends threw a co-ed baby shower for James and I. It was wonderful being surrounded by friends who are so excited that a baby is coming! It makes me feel good because I've already done two shows while being pregnant and I'm the costume designer for another one! Already this boy is surrounded by theater! Poor kid. There's no escape.

And my family is throwing me a traditional one that I cannot wait for! It'll be people I've known my whole life who have seen me grow up and are now watching me become a mother! Which I get the feeling has been a lot of fun for my mom! I wish I lived closer and it wasn't such a pain to drive right now, cause I'd be hanging out even more!

But! I'm to the point where I have to see the doctor every week. James and I need to start organizing our room so that we have space for baby and all the baby things we are going to have and we have to learn how to properly install a car seat! There is just so much!

And being an actor, you're a little aware of your body and how it does certain things. I've been trying to pay attention and it's just amazing! The things I can feel Aidan doing when he moves, it's almost like I can see it in my imagination. It's just the most incredible experience.

Overall, pregnancy has been a really tough experience for me. I'm use to being very active. Being able to get up and get done what I need to do. I've stuggled a lot in the limitations that I have had to put on myself (and the ones James has reminded me to put on myself). I've been sick and tired through most of this. We had a scare at the begining and we made it through. We were not expecting this so soon, but we both already knew that we wanted to be parents together! I've worried about what I've been eating, I've tried to ensure that I'm not a "crazy pregnant woman" and when I'm feeling weepy and emotional I've tried to communicate with James to the best of my abilities. I've read and sung to my belly and felt my son respond to the sound of my voice and felt him respond to the sound of daddy's voice.

What a blessing this has been. It's been wonderful to share this journey with friends and family and most of all James. We're preparing for the role of our lives.