Saturday, March 13, 2010

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beauitiful Boy!

My God! I cannot believe it. It's been over a week since I went through the most increadable experience ever! Things didn't exactly go the way I had expected but I was so happy with the outcome. At 7 am on Thursday March 4 I woke up in Labor. I wasn't sure I was in labor, but I was keeping track of the contractions and they were at the 5-1-1 timing. (Contractions lasting 1 min 5 minutes apart for 1 hour) but I still wasn't convinced. I spoke to my mom I spoke to my sister in law and was still uncertain. I mean I've never done this before I don't know!
So anyway things continue through the day. James goes to work and I get up and shave my legs! I know. What woman in labor thinks about shaving her legs, but damn it! I was going to feel confidant and good during labor, and for me, shaving my legs helps me with that.
So! I get a bag packed, have a bag for baby and I make sure I'm drinking tons of water, I'm resting as much as possible but sleep is not happening. I tried and after 30 minutes I woke up due to contractions. There was no rest. Ok!
James comes home from work I tell him that I'm in labor but that I don't feel overwhelmed or anything and that I want him to go to rehearsal as opening night for Salem:1692 is March 5th. He agrees to go but makes me promise to call him if things change. I promise I will!
He goes to rehearsal comes home and is able to get about an hours sleep.
At 2:30 am I tell him I need to go to the hospital. So we get our stuff and take off. We get into triage and sure enough I am in labor and 5 cm dilated. YAY! I came in right when I wanted to! we get to our room and first thing I am in the tub! After calling my mother to tell her I am at the hospital!
I relax in the tub as long as possible and then no position is comfortable.
We'll slip ahead as the next several hours are filled with Danette doing everything I can to breathe and relax with my mom and James doing everything they can to help me.
Basically I was in labor over 30 hours. 30 hours of no sleep and no rest or pause in the contractions. I finally realized that I would not be able to be relaxed and enjoy the birth of my son without an epidural. It was a tough choice, but I am glad that I had the help. As soon as the medication kicked in I was able to sleep. And it wasn't the epidural that took away all sensation. I could move my legs and still feel when I had a contraction and still feel my baby. All it did was remove the intense pain I felt.
I'm proud of how I did though. I knew I wanted to have a natural birth, but I also knew that I didn't know how I would react to labor. And I knew that I had options to help me.
When it came time for him to come out, I really tried not to so much push, but really breathe and help him move down and out. And after 40 minutes, my son was born at 1:06 pm on March 5. He was 8 lbs 8 oz and 20 in. long. All in all perfect. I was smiling as he came out. I was able to feel him coming, they set up a mirror for me and I saw the top of his head as he crowned.
The experience was so amazing!
My little boy is such a sweet, wonderful baby and I am awestruck every moment I look at him. Every facial expression is priceless and every sound, even his cries, are music.

Monday, March 1, 2010


One year. Amazing. It's gone by so fast and so slow at the same time.
A year ago yesterday I was sitting at my computer when a chat came up. It was Jim Porter. We'd tried going out on a date a month before and it had been a disaster! The reason being that I didn't know if it was a date or not and I did what I did best back then and hid rather than be open and ask.
We start chatting.
And chatting.
And chatting.
14 hours later I am now aware that he likes me! That he wants to take me out on a date! And we are going to Guys and Dolls at Arizona Broadway Theater the next day.
It's about 2 in the morning. What the hell will I wear?
One of my roommates comes home and I'm able to ask her in a panic what to wear. We dig through my closet and find a dress, then we pick a jean jacket and shoes.
The next morning, I am a nervous wreck! I shower, do my hair, get dressed and drive to my date. One of the reasons I'm so nervous is because James had told me that he was going to kiss me. Needless to say I have brushed, flossed, and mouth washed more than once. I am ready! And still nervous.
I've had rotten luck with men recently. And I have was getting really tired. I was starting to accept that being alone wasn't such a bad thing. And I was actually happier than I had been. And now, I was going to put it all on the line again.
In chatting with James there was a kind of safety in the words. I had no fear. I could say everything I wanted to and not be worried that I would sound stupid or be taken the wrong way. So I dumped! I dumped all my baggage on this poor man and just when he thought that that was all, I dumped more!
And he did the same.
And in looking at all he shared with me I thought. "I can live with that. That's not too bad."
And it was just amazing. Because he felt the same way about my baggage.
So much was going through my mind as I pulled into the parking lot. And I got out of my car looked around and saw him.
We walked across the parking lot to each other and hugged. He smelled good, he looked amazing and I was trying to keep myself centered.
We went inside, were seated at our table and had a few minutes of awkward minutes spent just smiling at each. We'd said so much the day before, we weren't sure where to start. Eventually we started talking and it was sweet and easy!
Then the defining moment.
James took my hand. I froze in wonder.
I'd been married to a man who never held my hand. And now this man was holding mine and smiling.
It was then. I knew I was in trouble. I was going to fall head over heels in love with this man. And it was either going to be wonderful, or hurt like hell!
I think we all know how things turned out.
One year later and I fall more in love with him everyday. He is loving, intelligent, kind, determined and everything and more that I have dreamed of.
And we're going to have a baby!
I am the luckiest woman in the world! And I'm so thankful to have him. I can't wait till we're holding our baby boy! Then that will be the most amazing day of my life! Right now, March 1, 2009 is still first.